Friday the 13th (2009) (R) ★
Remake. Reboot. Rehash. Any way you slice it, the new Friday the 13th is the same-old, same-old.
Story
Crystal Lake. Dumb kids in the woods. Sex, drugs, booze. A hulking maniac in a hockey mask, wielding a machete. Yeah, that about sums it up.
Acting
Are you kidding? The new Jason, Derek Mears, probably fares best among the actors, because he doesn't have a single word of dialogue. Everyone else unfortunate enough to stumble in front of the camera – Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Danielle Panabaker, Travis Van Winkle – is basically fodder for the slaughter. Some of them get naked. Most of them get dead. Some die more gorily than others. No one dies quickly enough.
Direction
Having previously (and woefully) directed the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, helmer Marcus Nispel does his best – and worst – to resurrect yet another popular horror franchise from the past. He also adds absolutely nothing new to the formula. Quite frankly, anyone could've directed this film. Judging by the results, anyone did. This is the 12th Friday the 13th film, for those keeping score at home, and with any luck it'll be the last. Of course, it won't be. But we can always hope.
Bottom Line
Hollywood.com rated this film 1 star.
To get the full Quicklook Films experience, uncheck "Enable on this Site" from Adblock Plus
box office top 10
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Released: May 10, 2024 Cast: Owen Teague, Freya Allan 56.5M
The Fall Guy Released: May 3, 2024 Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt 13.7M
Challengers Released: April 26, 2024 Cast: Zendaya, Josh O'Connor 4.7M
Tarot Released: May 3, 2024 Cast: Harriet Slater, Adain Bradley 3.5M
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Released: March 29, 2024 Cast: Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry 2.5M
Unsung Hero Released: April 26, 2024 Cast: Daisy Betts, Joel Smallbone 2.3M
Kung Fu Panda 4 Released: March 8, 2024 Cast: Jack Black, Awkwafina 2M
Civil War Released: April 12, 2024 Cast: Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura 1.8M
Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace 25th Anniversary Released: May 3, 2024 Cast: Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson 1.5M
Abigail Released: April 19, 2024 Cast: Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens 1.1M